Ben's New Nemesis

For a month or so we have come home from church on Sunday to find our front porch littered with cigarette butts. That is concerning because everyone who lives in our stairwell is active at church and in a leadership calling. Who was smoking? Last week our upstairs neighbors smelled cigarette smoke during the day and went to investigate. They found a strange woman underneath the stairwell. She came here from her house down the street to smoke by the drain under our stairs. They told her she couldn't smoke here, and she left. But! When we got home from church today, there were new, fresh cigarette butts! She came back! Here is Ben's course of action:

The text says, "Attention Smoker: Do not smoke within 25 feet of our building. How dare you come to our building and smoke outside of our home. Please know that we will be watching you closely. If you smoke near our building again you will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Not only are you breaking Provo and Utah smoking regulations, but you are trespassing. Sincerely, The Residents of the Building. No Smoking!"

He posted several of these outside of our building. He says he has never been so angry in his life and is plotting ways to trap her and/or harm her. One plan was to put a bear trap out there so that when she comes back it would break her legs. He also said he has never wanted a gun before. I guess he feels really strongly about this. So I have named her his Nemesis.

I just don't understand why she comes from her own house down the street to smoke under our stairs. She must have some kind of mental problem. Or disability. Or something.

And for those who think that this post is not funny...apparently you don't know Ben.